Endlessly, she said
by meat.to.the.wolves
Summary: It's just faberry angst. It will most likely break your soul and make your heart weep. Sorry.


**Here, have some Faberry angst.**

She was silent.

For a long time she had been living in pain, drowning in it, dying from it.

No longer.

Quinn stared, eerily calm, into the mirror in front of her.

"Who is this girl? She questioned quietly to herself, taking in the defeated demeanour in which she stood. Her shoulders hunched over, her face gaunt and tired, her eyes lifeless.

Everything about her screamed failure, I'm broken, walk all over me. And she knew they did.

Without hesitation her hand connected solidly with the mirror in front of her. As the mirror shattered and the shards fell away listlessly to the floor she stared into them, wondering whom this weak and pathetic girl staring back at her was.

She turned her back on the image, her teeth clenched in anger, her entire body shaking from the stress as she struggled to calm herself.

She walked slowly, dangerously out the door and down the hall, without a care to the trail of dark red blood she was leaving behind.

This was the last time, the final time, no more will she deal with this pain that you put her through everyday. No more will she listen to your lies and excuses and painful reminders of how little you actually care.

"What happened to your hand?" She heard her Father question, the eyes of her Mother snapping up at the question to look at her. Two pairs of eyes of different shape and size, stormy and calm, bright and dull, swirling around her in a mass of forged concern.

She shook them off and growled words incomprehensible to them before turning on her heel and starting back towards the main entrance to the Fabray family house.

She walked into the fresh air, not stopping until she got to the park at the end of her street, breathing in until her lungs reached capacity. Slowly, almost painfully, she released the air and felt her silent rage that had crept up murderously push back into the depths of her soul, where it belonged.

Feeling one warm and graceful hand on her shoulder as she stared up at the stars she smiled slightly at the realization that the only star she'd rather look at was standing right behind her at that moment.

"Relax," Rachel said in a low voice, pulling the blonde to lean into her as she wrapped her arms around Quinn's shoulders.

Rachel Berry always knew what the blonde was thinking and, in that instant, Quinn couldn't have been more thankful for a better partner.

"Thank you…" she said quietly, closing her eyes and listening to the beating heart of her girlfriend as she felt the strong, solid beat of her own.

Her courage and determination built within her soul, and she knew for the first time, what she had to do.

"I'll always be here, no matter what, so do what you need to do", Rachel said to her, giving her a tight squeeze before releasing her.

Quinn nodded, more for herself than for Rachel, and headed off towards the only destination she was accustomed to. And waiting for her, she knew, were many things. Anger, fear, regret, sadness, pain, lots of pain, but nothing would compare to the breaking of her heart that she's felt over and over again. The pieces, as they shatter, become smaller than the time before.

Each time, she bends to her knees alone and picks up each one, cradling them in her palms before putting them all together.

Her tears seal the bond, forcing each piece back into place, and hold them there until she knows it will happen again. The same thing every time, a vicious cycle, never ending, until she finds the strength she lost long ago.

"Hate me", she whispered softly, closing her eyes as she felt the rain beat relentlessly against her skin. Her clothes, soaked with the never-ending droplets, clung to her skin, just as her wild hair stuck to her face.

She was happy the rain had come, a cover for her tears that she vowed Rachel never would have to see again. She dug her nails into the palms of her hands as she listened to her girlfriend deny the request.

"Hate me", she growled out this time, her eyes snapping open. Quinn took one final look at her before turning her back, once and for all.

Her shoulders shook from the weight of her decisions, everything she had given falling to the floor. Time wasted, foolishly spent, days she would never get back, emotions she would forever lose and anger she would never forget.

Quinn looked over her shoulder at Rachel and whispered gently into the lightly blowing wind.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry", her words fell to the brunette's ears and she nodded, before turning her head back forward and walking off, each step harder to take than the one before.

"I'll always love you, Quinn Fabray. Just know that."

As soon as she turned the corner, she fell against the floor, cradled her head in her hands and cried with all her might for a pain she knew would never die.


End file.
